DEAR ABBY: I helped a pal by giving her rides to and from work for 2 weeks whereas her automotive was being repaired. When she received her automotive again, she instructed me to let her know if she might ever repay the favor by serving to me.
Just lately, my automotive wanted repairs, so I requested if I might money within the favor for a experience to and from work for just a few days. She replied that she might try this for me, however I ought to know she had already “paid the favor (owed to me) ahead” by serving to out considered one of her different buddies, so she felt she didn’t owe me a favor any longer.
I additionally received the impression that, if she gave me rides to work, I might owe her a brand new favor. I instructed her to neglect that I requested, and I’d discover one other approach to get to work.
Is there some rule of etiquette that claims you need to inform somebody you’re “paying a favor ahead” and now not owe them a favor? — ANNOYED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR ANNOYED: If there may be, that is the primary I’ve heard of it. The “pal” you describe is what they name a “bean counter,” or a “scorekeeper.” That is somebody who locations extreme emphasis on controlling issues, like expenditures, budgets, and, in her case, relationships. Of us like which might be finest prevented.
DEAR ABBY: I usually marvel why males don’t care for his or her youngsters like ladies do. In my lifetime, I’ve identified just one man who modified diapers, did naps and baths, took children to daycare or faculty, attended most occasions within the youngster’s life, and was there for the kid 24 hours a day. (He’s the person I married.)
Most males I do know suppose all the above are the girl’s accountability alone, even when she works full time. I can solely assume it dates again to cavemen days or life on the prairie. –– VALUED IN INDIANA
DEAR VALUED: Ideally, the obligations of kid care must be shared. You didn’t point out your age, however over the previous couple of many years I’ve been impressed to see fathers proudly carrying their infants in a sling or pushing them in strollers. In addition they take older youngsters out for a Sunday breakfast, to their sporting occasions in addition to to skilled sports activities occasions.
I don’t know what their dwelling lives are like, and neither do you, however they look like very a lot concerned of their youngsters’s lives. In many years previous, males thought that working lengthy hours to offer for his or her households was what they had been speculated to do, and subsequently had been much less hands-on than your husband.
DEAR ABBY: A beloved pal and member of the family has a behavior of fixing the temperatures of meals that’s already being cooked by different folks. Is that this thought of impolite? Is there a well mannered approach to appropriate the scenario? — BOTHERED & BEWILDERED IN BOSTON
DEAR B&B: It could be time to put up an indication in your oven or range advising guests (beloved or not) that you don’t want your home equipment tampered with if you end up making ready to entertain. Whoever has been doing that is extraordinarily presumptuous as a result of it might probably spoil all the meal.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.